Cute, Fighting And Totally Free [Clips]

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Vanguard Princess is a totally moe old school freeware 2D fighter from developer Tomoaki Sugeno. Who's he? Apparently an ex-Capcom employee.

The game can be downloaded here. Enjoy!

???? [Sugeno's Blog via Canned Dogs]

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Crawford/Rohrer documentary now available
online...sorta

The fantastic documentary I reviewed two days ago is now available for streaming on ARTE's official Web site.

The only problem is that ARTE evidently block their videos behind a region gate; if you're not from Germany or France, you'll have to find a way to make that link believe you're from Germany or France. Web sites exist that can help you to these ends.

If you can't get past the region lock, however, it should also be known that I have seen the documentary uploaded to at least one popular torrenting site. I can't link you to the torrent, of course, but I may be allowed to say that the site to which the torrent belongs phonetically rhymes with "Shmirate Fay Bot Dorg."

See if you can crack my code. See if you can unravel that cipher.

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Retroforce Recap: so what about those dirty
games, now

The RetroforceGo! team has been talking about a new idea that we thought our listeners might possibly enjoy. Rather than discuss a bunch of obscure games every week that some of you may have never heard of, we thought it might be cool to actually offer you a resource to learn more about those games -- a recap, if you will. It's with that thought in mind that we proudly introduce Retroforce Recap, a feature that you can use as a supplement to the podcast if you're interested in finding out more about the games we discuss on the show.

Anyway, as I'm sure you know, this week's topic was Naughty Retro games, and you can get that episode here. To learn a little more about the games we talked about this week, follow me past the jump where I will do my best to educate you without making too many cheesy sex puns!

There may be a few naughty retro games that you do remember, even if most of them don't ring a bell. After all, even if you never owned an Atari 2600, you've likely heard someone discuss Custer's Revenge, which we talked about last night on the show.

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The quest to make it across the screen to bang the girl tied to the post may not have seemed like much of an adventure to you now, but believe me, some guy paused to stick his hand in his pants more than once when playing this game. I don't have proof, but I just KNOW.

Of course, Custer's Revenge was fairly tame next to some of the other erotic titles for the Atari, such as Beat Em and Eat Em, which you see a screenshot from in our post header up there. The aim of this game was to run back and forth shooting your load down the screen and make sure the two lovely ladies at the bottom caught it. In their mouths. Yep.

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Here's another classy selection from the Atari era, Burning Desire. As you can see, you swoop around the screen trying to get your digital wang into a patiently waiting lady's mouth.

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The NES era brought more "sexy" games, but they were considerably less lewd than those found on the Atari. Bubble Bath Babes is probably one of the best known games for the NES that falls into this category.

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One game we discussed at great length on the show last night was Boong-ga Boong-ga, a Japanese arcade game where you use a giant finger and stick it in an ass that was actually protruding from the front of the cabinet itself. If you don't believe me, go look here -- Seanbaby actually found a picture of a guy about to use this thing.

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Of course, we can't forget to show you some of the best sexy computer games. I had fond memories of a text adventure called Leather Goddesses of Phobos, which later got a sequel with actual graphics.

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And let's not forget Leisure Suit Larry... Land of the Lounge Lizards was a classic.

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We hope you enjoyed our tour through the evolution of naughtiness in retro games! See you next week!

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Military gets its own gaming network, the MOG

Though you might think they'd welcome a break from shoot-'em-ups, members of the military are known to be a rich breeding ground for hardcore gamers. Now, just in time for Independence Day, they have their very own space in which to catch each other in the friendliest of fire: The Military Online Gaming program, a Global Gaming League-powered service that kicks off on the 4th with a Call of Duty: World at War tournament.

Though support will start with the 360, a rep from the group responsible, Pro vs. GI Joe, told Shacknews that our fighting men and women will soon be able to blast one another on PC and PS3 too.

Military gets its own gaming network, the MOG originally appeared on Joystiq on Fri, 03 Jul 2009 10:00:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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How Many Hours People Play Nintendo's Wii Games
(Sorry, Donkey Kong) [Nintendo]

Never mind what's at the bottom of this barrel, here's a list of 29 Wii games from Nintendo and the amount of hours people play them, per gamer.

(The following stats are pulled from the usage data shared by more than two million Wii users through the system's Nintendo Channel. For more information about how we calculate these total playtimes, check out this week's earlier Wii stats post)

Average Per-Gamer Playing Time For Nintendo's First-Party Wii Games (as of July 1)
(Release Dates in Parentheses)
Super Smash Bros. Brawl (March 2008) — 68 hours, 51 minutes
Animal Crossing: City Folk (November 2008) — 54 hours, 16 minutes
Fire Emblem Radiant Dawn (November 2007) ? 46 hours, 40 minutes
The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess (November 2006) — 46 hours, 9 minutes
Wii Sports (November 2006) — 35 hours, 47 minutes
Mario Kart Wii (April 2008) ? 31 hours, 40 minutes
Super Mario Galaxy (November 2007) — 27 hours, 37 minutes
Super Paper Mario (April 2007) — 24 hours, 13 minutes
Metroid Prime 3: Corruption (August 2007) 21 hours, 37 minutes
Mario Party 8 (May 2007) — 20 hours, 39 minutes
Pokemon Battle Revolution (June 2007) — 20 hours, 2 minutes
Wii Fit (May 2008) — 18 hours, 18 minutes
Mario Super Sluggers (August 2008) — 17 hours, 39 minutes
Excite Truck ? (November 2006) 12 hours, 39 minutes
Battalion Wars 2 (October 2007) — 12 hours, 23 minutes
WarioWare: Smooth Moves (January 2007) — 11 hours, 39 minutes
Excitebots: Trick Racing (April 2009) ? 10 hours 56 minutes
Wii Play (February 2007) — 10 hours, 7 minutes
New Play Control! Pikmin (March 2009) ? 9 hours, 44 minutes
Endless Ocean (January 2008) — 9 hours, 41 minutes
Wii Music (October 2008) — 9 hours, 17 minutes
Wario Land: Shake It! (September 2008) — 8 hours, 47 minutes
Punch-Out!! (May 2009) ? 7 hours, 55 minutes
Big Brain Academy: Wii Degree (June 2007) — 6 hours, 56 minutes
Mario Strikers Charged (July 2007) — 6 hours, 18 minutes
New Play Control! Mario Power Tennis (March 2009) ? 6 hours, 14 minutes
Link's Crossbow Training (November 2007) - 4 hours, 55 minutes
Donkey Kong: Barrel Blast (October 2007) — 4 hours, 41 minutes
New Play Control! Donkey Kong Jungle Beat (May 2009) ? No Data Listed

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Escape to the Movies: Public Enemies

This week MovieBob takes a refreshing look at the Michael Mann film "Public Enemies"

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New game pimping time again

This time it's one of ours! Seems like forever since we've had something of our own to talk about ( There will be another game on the 9th of July to mention too, but more of that nearer the time ).

AQI Zoneout is the fella this time.





It's a really quite good puzzle game that I worked on for our friends at theBasement.tv (Check their demo reel out, seeing that really made me want to work with those guys)

It was a slightly weird development process for me, as I broke off before the gamewas actually finished for various asset related reasons, so that in combination withit already been planned out really well beforehand stops it feeling like it's mine,it's more something I worked on rather than made, if that makes sense.

As a project though, it was a real joy and a real pleasure to get to work with ickydime ona game together, you couldn't ask for a better go-between at a company, and the workthat was done to the game after it left my sticky fingers has really raised it up,there's a lot of love in there.

I was asked as part of this pimp to also mention Miles design who were the agencyfor the project, Fat Atom who did the sweet php magic so you can see your name onthe high-score table and of course cleanairmatters.org who are the end client.

That's more than enough words, give it a go, it'll help eat into your Friday beforehome time, hurray!

Squize.

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Star Trek Academy Trainer

Star Trek Academy Trainer is a series of different mini games by Psionic. "Complete a series of tasks involving mental agility and observational skills. The faster you do them the more badges you...

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Girls Room Escape 8

Girls Room Escape 8 is eight episode of Girls Room Escape point and click and hidden object type room escape game by Karla for escapegames. stoneagegames.com. Like always your mission is to find 9...

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Top Ten Gaijin Games: Bionic Commando Edition

[Destructoid's Japanese correspondent, 50ft. Samurai, takes a look at last week's "Gaijin" game sales in Japan.]

As reported here on Destructoid a couple weeks back, Bionic Commando managed to wrangle a surprising 34/40 from the editors of Famitsu, placing it as the most favorably ranked game of that issue. 

For comparison, this is equal to their scores for games like Oboro Muramasa, Street Fighter IV, and Star Ocean IV. It’s also a complete departure from overall media scores for the English-language version of the game. Whatever you may think of Famitsu’s editorial policies, could the high score translate into increased sales? Could "Rad" Spencer redeem himself in Nippon?

According to Media Create’s numbers for last week’s sales; no he could not.

While the PlayStation 3 version lands at the top of the Gaijin game chart, it only managed to sell a measly 4,378 copies, with the Xbox 360 version selling even less. 

To be fair, there were a shit ton of games released last week, and anything besides Wii Sports Resort sold less than 100,000 copies. But considering the game got beat by 12 other new releases, and four of those being text adventures, it’s safe to say that the game resonated about as well with Japanese consumers as it did with Western gamers.

You may commence shedding of tears now. I already started.

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